And now im feeling so very fat, and i want at this point of time so much, for me to turn anorexic or bulimic.
Or allergic to food.
Or hate food.
I am seriously sick in the head i guess.

But hey, looking at people with skinny silhouettes, it really puts me down.
Having your elephant legs genetically doesnt make things any better. At all.
Its depressing, really.

Why cant I be skinny?
Why cant I have awesome, flawless complexion?
And yes, what with all the pimples and everything on my face, it practically makes me FAT AND UGLY.
Not that I was ever pretty in the first place.
Residual value? I would say none.

Its really unfair how some people are smart, pretty, skinny, rich, well endowed, gentle, careful, hardworking and gracious.
All the good things in one.
Why are some people just stuck with imperfections?
Just live with it?
Its hard, really.

And no, none of you will get it.
Because none of you are FAT.
Jennifer, Sarah, Junrong, Seng Min and so so so much more.
None of you are fat.
And that leaves me, just me.

Dont worry about me, its just another emotional ride in the night.
I'll be over it in the morning. I think.